Yes, I do miss my mother today, but, upon reflecting on the last few years of her life, I probably miss having children more. That is, I see what life may be like for me in the future, and find that it would probably have been a good idea to have a good, well-brought-up kid around to look after me when I get wicked and stupid.
(Note, I loved my mom. She wasn't really wicked or stupid. Her afflictions, addictions, and infirmities did bad things to her throughout her life. That's what I resented and, for myself, what I fear.)
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| Hawaii, 1993 |
Observers of life's dramas can learn from watching others, though. That's part of the point of going to the theater. Artists have a way of working things out and explaining things (it's like the reasons the spiritually inclined folks go to church, in many ways--to connect with our fellow humanity, to make sense of things).
I had a great time at the theater yesterday, specifically 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee at Ford's. It was a lively, fun production, very talented cast portraying high-striving, high-achieving kids mostly hoping to earn their parents' approval and love.
Now, as a grown-up, I realize that I was never motivated by a need to earn my parents' approval and love. I always had it. Mom started telling the world of my wonderfulness as soon as possible, putting me in the Little Miss Christmas beauty pageant at the tender age of five. It was up to my teachers to poke my intellectual complacency in the ribs.
So, those are my Mother's Day reflections. Excuse me if I don't particularly wish to join the celebrations of mothers and their daughters today. I'm in a mood.
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| Pink tulips at the Kennedy Center. Photo by C. G. Wagner, 2014 |
Love, hosaa
A pretty good kid after all, but arranging her own bouquets.
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