Heaven has been waiting for Joe Pendleton since 1978. He wasn’t
supposed to arrive until “10:17 a.m. on March the 20th of the year
Two Thousand and Twenty-Five.”
That was what was
written, and Joe would have been happy to abide by what was written.
But there was a little mix-up right when Joe was back in the pink—er,
had just gotten his body back in shape. The young quarterback (well,
in any other profession he would have been young) was set to start
for the Los Angeles Rams in a few days, but there was an accident as
he rode his bike into a tunnel on an otherwise quiet highway.
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Joe Pendleton (Warren Beatty). Disaster ahead? |
Except, as an athlete, he had fantastic reflexes and would have missed the car careering toward him. Probably. But his heavenly escort did not wait for the outcome, bringing Joe Pendleton to the Way Station nearly fifty years before his time.
Mr. Jordan himself verified Joe’s expected due date as March 20, 2025. It was written.
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"Im not supposed to be here! You guys made a mistake!" |
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"Joseph Pendleton, due to arrive 10:17 a.m., March the 20th, the year 2025." |
This is what was
written by Elaine May and Warren Beatty in their 1978 screen adaptation of
a play by Harry Segall, Heaven Can Wait.
(An earlier screen adaptation was called Here Comes Mr.
Jordan.)
To
remedy Joe’s (Warren
Beatty) loss of several
decades of winning Super Bowls
and falling in love, and so forth, Mr. Jordan (James
Mason) scouted an available
body for spirit Joe to Quantum Leap into. The requirement was that
the death of this neomort would not yet have been discovered, so Joe
could simply
assume his identity. He was
to carry on as that person, rather than as himself. But Joe couldn’t
help being himself, could he?
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Spirit Joe would have turned Farnsworth into a philanthropist |
First
up was the unscrupulous industrialist Leo Farnsworth, murdered by his
wife and private secretary (Dyan
Cannon and Charles Grodin).
Joe transformed
this
not-yet-dead Leo into a naive but fair-minded (scrupulous)
industrialist. And of course
he fell in love with the
first beautiful environmental activist he met
(Julie Christie). She
saw something in his eyes. (Remember that.)
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"I'm not really Leo Farnsworth! My name is Joe." |
Whatever had been
the rich bastard’s destiny in life ended with his interrupted
murder, and we can assume the real Leo Farnsworth abided by what was
written for him, whether his final destination was Heaven or Hell. No
matter. Joe needed to get Leo’s body in shape in order to pursue
his own destiny—playing in the Super Bowl.
To help him, Joe
called on the Rams’ trainer, his good buddy Max Corkle (Jack
Warden). Joe first had to convince Max that this Leo Farnsworth was
just a body and that, inside, Joe really was the friend Max had
mourned. It helped that spirit Joe still carried his old soprano
saxophone and could play a single tune, very badly and recognizably
so.
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"Joe, you never could play that thing!" |
Reunited, Joe and
Max then had to get this Leo Farnsworth a tryout with the Rams.
Anticipating failure, Joe used Farnsworth’s wealth to buy the team
so he could install himself as the new quarterback. Joe’s skill and
athleticism easily converted the skeptical team.
Whatever had been
written in Heaven or Hell for the rich bastard Leo Farnsworth, it did
not include playing quarterback for the Rams in the Super Bowl. So
once again his wife and secretary conspired to murder him.
Sensing that his
time as Leo Farnsworth would be cut short, spirit Joe reassured his
sweetheart not to be afraid of what might happen. She might even meet
another quarterback and see that something special in his eyes.
Murdered out of
Farnsworth’s body, Joe must abide by what was written. So Mr.
Jordan took Joe to the Super Bowl where the Rams’ quarterback, Tom
Jarrett (not seen in picture) collapsed after a violent play on the
field. Joe, back on his proper journey, rose as Tom to complete the
win.
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Spirit Joe rises as Tom Jarrett |
Max Corkle would be
the first to recognize the real Joe in Tom Jarrett’s body. It
helped that the saxophone arrived with spirit Joe in the locker room.
But Mr. Jordan threw
a twist into the metaphysical plotting here. Or playwright Segall
did. Or screenwriters May and Beatty did. It has always bothered me.
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"Wanna tell me why you keep calling me Joe?" |
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"You're the quarterback!" |
Mr. Jordan erased
Joe Pendleton’s memory and merged his spirit completely with the
body of Tom Jarrett. He was to live the next 47 years—until March
20, 2025, as Tom, not as Joe.
That’s what was
written? Are you kidding me? Max lost his friend, but at least Tom
got the girl (yes, she saw spirit Joe in his eyes). Hopefully, when
Joe makes it back to Heaven this week, he’ll have a word with Mr.
Jordan about that whole big chunk of life he lost.
Love, hosaa
restoring lifetimes
restoring lifetimes
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