Insensitivity Reader

A couple of weeks ago at Bethesda's Writer's Center I listened in on a panel discussion on "Autism through a Literary Lens." This was the first time I'd heard of using "sensitivity readers" (Google it yourself) as a way to keep one's writing from offending groups one isn't a part of. I don't want to offend people. Of course not. I want my writing to be perceived as crappy on its own lack of literary merit.

My brain traveled back in time to a nonsense poim called "Armadillo's Song" that I wrote in college and reproduced on this blog a half a dozen years ago or so. I've invited said brain to discuss the matter with an (imagined) insensitivity reader.

Reader: So, why did you write a poem about a ghetto?

Brain: It rhymed with "meadow."

Reader: Why did you write a poem about a meadow?

Brain: It rhymed with "ghetto."

Reader: Why did you write a poem about a meadow and a ghetto?

Brain: Because "oasis" and "desert" don't rhyme.

Reader: Can you talk about using the name "Walter Mitty"? Another author's invention?

Brain: He lived in a "city" and was "giddy."

Reader: Were you aware that the title "Armadillo's Song" is co-opted from Native American culture?

Brain: Coinky-dink. Why do you say "Native American" instead of "Indigenous"? I'm a little behind.

Reader (thumbing though Google search results): Correction, it's from Bolivian folklore.

Brain: I forgive you.

Reader: I didn't ask you to.

Brain: Well, as long as you feel bad.

Reader: That's your whole problem, you just want me to feel bad. Oh, wait....